Womb With A Story: AIT#2:Day Thirty-Three.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

AIT#2:Day Thirty-Three.

5am (the 15th): So I just got home from the ER because I was having the worse pelvic pain from AF and my Lupus. And the Doctor gave me a Dilaudid shot in my ass and a few perks to last me over to get into my appt Today to get more meds. But I am feeling pretty good right now, but still in pain!!!! GRRRRRR. Anyways, I know it's Wednesday but this is my Tuesday one.. The 14th: So didn't do much but start my period and just was in a lot of pain because I was out of meds and my feet are just so damn swollen from the Lupus.... It was a bad day, and then later on Tasha and I watched a special on Michael Jackson, and I just ran upstairs and started bawling on my bathroom floor in my bedroom....Because of him and everything I am going through. I just broke down. Let the Babies run around outside since I got my grass finally cut and they just LOVED it, esp Bella and Angel. They were having a blast and it just put a smile on my face and in my heart. It truly makes me happy to see my Kids happy. I don't know what I'd do without them. Then some unwanted Drama started, so that got outta hand, with my PTSD and Bipolar....If you only knew how crazy I get when my PTSD AND Bipolar (esp PTSD) is trigged. Then after that it was like 2am, went home got my Military ID then went to the ER. Felt like Tash and I were in there FOREVER. Bruce's cousin died Today(well the 14th) and I know how bad he is hurting, he just lost his Grandmother like 3 months ago and he was close to his cousin, and it kills me to know he is hurting so bad and I can't make it all go away and fix it. He also is probably not gonna be able to make it to the funeral, because he leaves Sunday morning. And gets in Friday night at like 11om, so I only get 2 nights and 1 full days with him... :( It's better than nothing but I wish it was longer. It's killing me that he most likely won't be here for the funeral, because in Vietnamese Culture you have to be bury on a certain day, so his Family has to call his Family that lives in Vietnam and find out what day, so I'm praying and hoping it's Saturday. I ask you all to please please pray for Bruce and his Family in this hard time..

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.A Little About Me.

Hi, I'm Roxanne. I first started this blog to blog about my quest for baby hang. I've been TTC for about 5 years now with no success. I was told my only option to conceive was with IVF, couldn't afford it so IUI it was, even with a less than 2% I wanted to try, so I did some IUIs, no luck. I very recently got pregnant, NATURALLY!!! But ended in a miscarriage at 8 and half weeks in Aug 2011. I am now pregnant again!! Due July 16th, 2012 This blog will be about my Pregnancy, Infertiliy, TTC, grieving, me trying to get through life and struggling with 5 Autoimmune Diseases: Lupus, APS, Endometriosis, Fibromyglia, CFS, MTHFR....etc, and learning how to go through life on living back in the Civialian World. Just my everyday life.
I know that everything happens for a reason, I know things will work out for the best in the end. Just gotta keep your head up.

.Timeline.

Dec 1st 2006 ;; Started TTC

Oct 2009 ;; Started getting help from a Fertility Specialist.

Nov 12th, 2009 ;; HSG

Nov 12th 2009 ;; HSC

Dec 9th, 2009 ;; Put on Femara

Dec 18th, 2009 ;; 1st IUI - BFN

Jan 14th, 2010 ;; 2nd IUI - BFN

Feb 11, 2010 ;; 3rd IUI - BFN

June 28th, 2011 ;; BFP (naturally)

July 1st, 2011 ;; Beta=279!!

July 5th, 2011 ;; Beta= 1,200s!!

July 7th, 2011 ;; ER Trip. Beta- 5,000s!! Ultrasound, didn't get to see tho.

July 21st, 2011 ;; ER Trip. Beta=12,00s!! RhoGAM shot another ultrasound, didn't get to see.

July 22, 2011 ;; ER Trip. Beta=Dropped by a 1,000. Did an Ultrasound but baby's heartbeat was low. 93.

July 23rd, 2011 ;; Saw my OB. They did an Ultrasound, got to see my baby and see the heart actually beating!! Beta= 16,000s!! They went back up!! Heartbeat went up to 100!!!

Aug 2nd, 2011 ;; Went in for ultrasound, no heartbeat.. Went home and started bleeding...

Aug 2nd, 2011 ;; ER. They did an ultrasound no heartbeat.

Aug 10th, 2011 ;; OB wanted to see me, another ultrasound, about finished passing the baby.

Nov 7th, 2011 ;; BFP on HPT

Dec 3d, 2011 ;; ER. Beta 93,000. Heart rate 156!! EDD July 16th, 2012

RIP Michael Jackson - 1958-2009

Made By Me. Michael Jackson has touched my heart in SO many ways. He also had Lupus, and I really look up to him, because he still lived his life, and danced and everything through all the pain that comes with Lupus. I grew up listening to him. Started listening to him when I was 4 years old. It doesn't matter what mood I am in, every time I hear his music, I keep beyond happy and just dance. I love all of his songs, and honestly think he is, hands up, the greatest dancer that ever lived. And no one will ever be able to top him. He saved so many lives of children and helped so many children/people and just wanted World Peace and for no one to suffer. He was such a beautiful person on the inside and out and was just such an amazing person. My dream before I died was to go see Michael in Concert, and now that will never happen. I am still in shock and don't want to believe it, but I know he is in a better place and now no one can hurt him anymore. I didn't find out he had Lupus until he had passed away, I was in total shock. But know I know that if Michael that had Lupus among other Diseases like myself and still showed the world how great he was, then so can I, thank you Mihcael for giving me Hope. Michael Jackson was the only entertainer who truly made me happy even if I was in the worse possible mood. He may be gone, but he is still here with me and with all his true fans, that he loved so much.**Michael, you mean the world to me and have touched my heart so much, and your my inspiration. I wish I would have gotten to meet you, but I know I will see you in Heaven and be dancing with you. :) I'm glad you are no longer in pain and no one can hurt you anymore. I miss you and I love you with all of my heart.** Rest in Peace MJ.