AIT#2:Day Fourty-Five.

After Today 15 more days until my Husband is FINALLY home, and I seriously can not wait!! EEEEKK!! So many things to look forward too!! And I'm hoping when we TTC while he was home for that weekend that it worked. We'll see, keep them crossed!!! :) Didn't do anything at all Today but sleep, I'm in so much pain it is not even funny. I haven't seen my Therapist in like 2 weeks because she's on vacay and I REALLY need to see her. I'm going through a mental break down. I don't see her til the 29th, so I hope I don't do anything stupid til then. I'm not getting like any support from my friends but my sister, Tasha. So when people need me, I won't be here, because that's how it works. Infertility is really getting to me, BAD. I don't know how much longer I can be in mental and physical pain. It's been over too many years and even tried IUI and still no baby. I'm tired of watching everyone else around me start families and not me. And most don't even deserve it. I deserve it. And I will be the best mother alive. There's not question about it. But I guess til then I just gotta keep stay strong, but you can only stay strong so long, you know. And I'm also tired of so called friends trying to hurt me and rub it in my face, yes I am VERY happy for them and NOT jealous but just because they are pregnant and not going through Real Infertility doesn't mean they can rub and throw it in my face esp when they what I am going through. Sigh. I just want my Husband home so bad, I can't take much more of anything. ...

Some pictures Tash and I took. I swear we are camera whores when we are togethers, hehe. ;)