14 Week Ultrasound & 19 Weeks.

I have been meaning to blog but just can never focus long enough anymore. Last month at 14 weeks I went in for my 1st ultrasound. I remember sitting in the waiting room scared to death. Panic attack after panic attack. It felt like someone was sitting something extremely heavy on my chest. My last ultrasound there was no heartbeat, I was terrified of the outcome. As Doctor F started to turn on the ultrasound I just teared up, I wanted to shut my eyes so bad but couldn't get my eyes off the screen, even though there wasn't anything on it quite yet. He started putting that cold gel on my little bump, I had never had that kind of ultrasound done, I had always gotten the transvaginal ones, I was happy I didn't have to get that kind, they hurt! My aunt held my hand as he went to take a look inside. I saw a tiny beating heart and I had never felt so happy in my life. I just felt so much relief, I had never felt that in my entire life. The baby was very active just moving around, also tried suck on it's thumb. The baby has its legs WIDE open, come to find out, IT'S A BOY! I had a strong feeling that it's a boy weeks before. I didn't even focus on girl names, I, somehow knew that I had to have my boy name picked out. I remember right before I went into my appt, my aunt and I was talking about how my doctor probably couldn't see the sex this early. I'd only heard of a few friends finding out so early. But there his boy parts were!!

I'm 19 weeks today, still seems unreal. I'm almost half way done with my pregnancy and I think that I am still in shock. I wonder if I will ever get out of the "in shock stage" I have already gained 37 lbs so far, but the doctor said most under weight woman "catch up" in their pregnancy. I have been eating a lot, get hungry every 2-3 hours and have been eating full meals everytime I get hungry, hehe. I'm still having extreme fatigue, it has not got any better, but hopefully it does soon. The back pain has already started! I have had back problems my entire life but wow, this is way different and hurts a lot more. I take 2-3 hot baths a day and just soak my back in it. It does help some. I can't use a heating pad because I get too hot. So bath will have to due.

The past few days his movements have gotten really strong. Like last night I woke up like 5 times from him kicking. I would just lay there for a little bit, while he just kicked away. He's a very active little monkey! I think feeling him move is the best part of the pregnancy, it sure isn't the symptoms or growing out of all my clothes! I haven't gotten any maternity clothes yet, not sure when I will but I need to soon!

New Baby, New Year.

A lot has changed since I last updated my blog. On Nov 7th, my period was a day late and I had just been feeling pregnant so I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. I couldn't believe it cause I just miscarried 2 months before, but I guess you're the most fertile after miscarrying and giving birth, I knew that about after birth but not miscarrying. I am 13 weeks and 3 days! My EDD is July 16th. My last ultrasound was last month, heart rate was 156!!! My progesterone is really high, everything has been normal, so far, with this pregnancy. I go in on the 18th to see my OB, I am very excited and she is going to try to see if we can see the sex. I will only be 14 and half weeks but depending on the baby we just may be able to see!

I'm beyond excited but yet have never been this scared in my entire life. I have never been this far along before and just the fact that I just miscarried in August. I tried to not get so attached to this baby, but kinda hard when you have a teeny human growing inside of you. I love this baby so much and would do anything for my child. I've been having many fears, about a lot of things lately and yes I know that that is normal. And being a single mommy-to-be, yes I'm single now, makes me even more scared. I just keep wondering what is gonna happen, which is driving me insane! I'm wondering way too many things. Which is really stressing me out. I need to stop stressing myself out and enjoy being pregnant!!

As for my symptoms, I have every single 1st trimester symptom...The morning sickness has been very bad tho, just haven't puked this pregnancy, yet!! The past week my nauseousness has gone just about away! But my fatigue has gotten worse..HMM?? Thought it was suppose to get better toward/in the 2nd trimester? Just feeling so run down, I get SO tired just taking a shower/bath!! Then there is a lot of pressure in my belly, it really hurts! I know it will only get worse but the pain is just very annoying! And what has been weird and new symptoms is for the past 2 days I just wll bawl my eyes out for reasons that you should not be crying over..??!! t's crazy!!!

God has surly blessed me with this little miracle!!

10 weeks and 6 days 12 weeks and 5 days