My Husband and I have been thru so much in the 6 years and 9 months. We've been married 2 years 11 months and while we've been married it's been one thing after another. I know that God has a huge great plan for us. Do you know why I believe that? The Devil tries so hard to break us apart and the fact that we are still together, happy and strong. I don't know what the Lord has planned for us, but when it happens we will definitely know.
Maybe God hasn't want us to conceive these past 3 years, maybe because He thinks we haven't been ready, or maybe because I didn't know about some of my health problems, maybe because of all my health problems, maybe because we were having money issues, maybe he knew/thought we would miscarry again if we got pregnant then, maybe because... Well I'm running out of "maybes" because I honesty don't see why God hasn't given us the most blessing of all, because we are over ready and would be the greatest parents. Just maybe he wanted to put us thru Infertility so we would know how much a blessing a baby is. There could be a thousand maybes, but only God knows and only God knows when we will be blessed with our Miracle baby. But infertility has opened my eyes and taught me things like being negative and being stressed will get you no where, that there is a reason for everything, that a baby is the most blessing you can receive, that creating a life with your Husband out of love, is the most beautiful thing. Most days I am positive, but once AF comes I get discouraged and sometimes feel like giving up. But I think giving up on my Dream to be a Mother would be worse then going thru all the heartbreaks and physically pain each month, because that's all I've ever wanted to do, is be a Mother. I will never give up on having our own child until I'm holding our sweet baby in my arms. But those days when I start to think negative and giving up, I just imagine myself holding our baby, getting up at all hours of the night to feed our child, changing diapers, giving our child a bath, rocking our baby to sleep, and the one that ALWAYS puts a huge smile on my face and turns that negatively into positive is picturing Bruce holding our child. I see how he is with other babies/kids and how he fathers our Fur-Babies he will be the best Daddy, no question about it. And he also keeps me positive. He is so great to me and wants a baby so bad, probably more than me, LoL. He LOVES Kids. Before he joined the Army he was in college to be a Kindergarten teacher. Too cute, I know! :) But I do know it will happen when the tine is just right.
Got a very busy week this week. Tomorrow Pre-op at the Fertility Clinic and Therapy, also Hubby's Appt for his shoulder, Wednesday HSC, Thursday HSG. So gonna be a busy and painful week. Just hoping the HSC and HSG comes back perfect like last year. So I should get some rest, I'll be a littke busy bee tomorrow. Goodnight ya'll!
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