So I am 21 days late...I haven't poas(peed on a stick) because I know that I am not pregnant. My pelvic pain has been BEYOND bad that it has been waking me up. The last few days I'll be dreaming that I'm having the worst pelvic pain, then I will wake up and be in the worse pain!! I honestly don't know what the hell is going on with my body. I get my period every 28 days but ever since I got off the fertility drugs my cycles have been very messed up!! Last cycle I was 39 days late!!!! I don't have a fertility doctor here in Tennessee yet, and there is no point because I will be moving back to Oklahoma when he deploys to Afghanistan which is VERY soon... Now we don't even have time to try 1 more cycle, unless I started today or tomorrow, which I am just very devastated about! Our goal was to get pregnant before he deploys but yeah that is not happening now...I guess once he gets back then it's IVF with ICSI. I just really didn't want to do IVF unless we had to.. The 3 IUI's process just put me through SO much physical pain and mentally.. and I know IVF is going to be worse.. I just really wish we could get pregnant on our own like most normal couples. I always ask God, "why can they get pregnant let alone on their own, but Bruce and I for some reason just can't." I don't understand why Bruce and I have to go through infertility..I know there is a reason.. Maybe to find out about 3 serious illness, Lupus, Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome(APS) and MTHFR Disease, that our fertility doctor found. Or else I would have never even asked to be tested for those. Maybe it's to show us how much a blessing a child is or maybe to show me that just because I don't have a child it does not make me ANY less blessed than a woman/couple with child(ren) Or maybe I am being punished for something..??? I don't know but whatever the reason, destiny always gets it's way. I do know that everything is going to work out for Bruce and I. God is great and amazing. And with him on our side anything is possible.
I know it's been like 3 weeks since I have updated and that I have bearly been on Twitter the last couple weeks, I miss all of ya'll, but I'm just trying to spend as much time with my husband as I can, before he goes to Afghanistan. I really hope ya'll understand. And I just want to thank all my girls! Without ya'll and my husband, I could not get through a day without any of you. I promise to update more and be on Twitter more! :)
you are NOT being punished for anything. I don't know why any of us have to go thru this while other women just have it happen so easily. it's definitely not fair and i know that none of us can believe that it's happening to us. but i like to think that we'll learn something from all of this and come out better in the end.
ReplyDelete(what would jen do)
I'm sorry that AF is MIA. I hope that she shows soon so you and hubby can have at least one shot before he deploys.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jen, you're definitely /not/ being punished for anything. God would not do that to any of his children. He loves us all and wants us all to be happy, but in the end we're mere mortals and can't see the bigger picture to our lives, to everything. Keep your chin up, girlie. Remember, He loves you, and so does your Bruce!
ReplyDeleteHey. Just found your blog today through another one via the ICLW list. Listen girl, you are a strong woman as you said and you will get through this deployment. It sounds like your husband is awesome and you too, so you will make it through. Hang in there and being with your family will make the time pass fast.
ReplyDelete*hugs* for all that's going on right now <3
ReplyDeleteI completely understand spending as much time with your hubs as possible. I have barely blogged lately for the same reason. We'll all be here for you over the next year.