5dp-IUI.

Just gonna be a short update, since I'm too tired to think straight, haha! Today has been a great day!! Spent a lot of time with my wonderful Husband, laid in bed, cuddling and watching movies. He rubbed and kissed my belly SOOOO much Today, saying "baby in there" in a baby voice. It was BEYOND cute!! He is absolutely sure that I am pregnant, and I have a strong feeling I am too. :) The past like 2 days I have been craving nothing BUT sugar..LoL and still very very hormonal! Been having some pelvic pain [as always] but ever since I started the Femara and did IUI it's been a little worse than normally, the nurse said that it could happen... I also weigh 2 more pounds since I did IUI, so that is good!! The progesterone pills have been making me very very tired and way hormonal too, but gotta take them and I'll do whatever it takes. This 2ww seems to be going so slow for me, I'm not nervous about the 4th [testing day] I actually excited, but wish the 2ww was over already and it was Jan 4th so I can get my BFP!! :) I have so much faith in this cycle and I have put it in God's hands.

Our First IUI.

So we just got out of the Fertility Clinic from doing IUI. They did another ultrasound, everything looked SO perfect. So they got my ready. The only thing that hurt was the speculum, other than that it was fast and didn't hurt. Bruce not only got to watch but he got to inject his spermies into me!! I thought that was pretty neat! He did too, hehe! Then I laid there a little over 20 minutes. Then Today I'm gonna stay in bed and rest. :) They also put me on the 100mg Progesterone pills and I start those Monday. The pregnancy blood test is Jan 4th in the early am. I can't wait til the 4th! This 2ww is gonna be long! But glad the Holidays will keep me plenty busy. They also gave me another ultrasound picture of the Follicle. :) Since I've been making a Fertility Scrapbook for our baby! Thought it would be really neat to have a pic of the Follicle. :) My Husband and I are feeling very positive about this! And I know we will be getting out BFP in 2 weeks! Please pray for us and keep us in your thoughts, thank you! :)

Our 2nd IUI Appt.

Vlog on our 2nd IUI Appt. :)


My left ovary and my one follicle!! GO FOLLIE!! :) You can do it!! I have faith in you! :)

My Trigger Shot, didn't hurt one bit!! Was scared when I saw the needle though, LoL!!!

Got My 1st Trigger Shot.

So I got my 1st Trigger Shot in the mail Today, had to have it to bring to my 2nd IUI Appt Tomorrow. They are going to look at my Follicles and see how big they are and how many eggs I have. If it all looks good and right then the nurse will give me the Trigger Shot at my Appt. Which I'm hoping, because I don't wanna give it to myself..LOL! I'm really excited and can't wait to see my Follies!!! :) I hope they are how my Fertility Dr needs them to be able to do IUI. I hope I will be able to sleep Tonight, because I am way too excited. I have another Appt in the early am, to get off my Klonopin...man that's gonna be tough on my body. I'm already off my anti-depressants and bi-polar/sleeping meds for IUI. But it'll be worth it. :) When Hubby got home, we opened up the box with the shot in it...and I'm thinking..."I can not stab myself with that" LOL!!! Now I hope the Femara did it's job and I will be getting my Trigger Shot Tomorrow, then IUI either Friday or early this coming week!! :)

Wordless Wednesday.

So since we don't have our tree or anything Christmas up yet, I'll add some recent pictures for my Wordless Wednesday. :) Enjoy!!


Me, after seeing New Moon for the 2nd time. :) Dec 12, 2009


Me, after getting my hair trimmed. Crappy cell picture. Dec 11, 2009.


Romeo, Isabella and Juliet. Nov 2009.


Angel. Nov 2009.


Mommy and Destiny, our Husky at the dog park. Sept 4th, 2009.

Femara: My body Has Other Plans.

So last night I could not sleep because the Femara, it made me SO tired but when I went to fall asleep it took me hours, til I put Michael Jackson's music on, some slow songs, then I passed out. ;) But I kept waking up, in pain and having hot flashes from hell!! I am use to the hot flashes because the Lupron shot, and I still get them, but the Femara has made it way worse. And now I was looking on MySpace, and someone posted stuff about their pregnancy [very happy for them] but I just broke down and started crying...WTH??? I am also extremely neasous, I don't think I can even eat. I call the Fertility Clinic to see if I could be having all this so early, and they said yeah...well that sucks. I was hoping to have very little symptoms, but I guess my body has other plans for me. As always. The people at this Pharmacy called yesterday for the delivery for my Trigger Shot, and I'm really hoping my Insurance pays for them!! If not then it's fine, but would be nice if they will. :) We shall see! I should my Trigger Shot Thursday the 17th, then the nurse said we will see Thursday when we will be doing the IUI. I thought she said a day or 2 after the Trigger Shot, but they wanna look at the Follicles and get the timing right. But they said on Thursday I may not get my Trigger Shots, depends on where I'm at and everything. But YAY! I'm so excited. And I'm so glad they are gonna get Hubby's good spermies. :) I'm feeling so positive and I just know out of these 3 rounds of IUI one is going to work and we will finally be parents!! :)

Our First IUI Appt.

So the nurse called us in Today for an Ultrasound to check my ovaries and make sure I didn't have any cyst, and I don't so that is very good!!! I have a lot of Follicles already. but they are sleeper ones, have 2 big ones in both ovaries so that is very good. they wanna get atleast 2 in each ovary. but no more than that because they don't want me having triplets because of my weight.They have me Femara and I'm gonna start that Tonight, and take it for 4 days. Then I have another Appt next Thrusday for another Ultrasound and Trigger Shot. The deadline for IUI was 3 days after I called because the Holdidays, so I called just in time! I think that is a sign. :) I am really excited about this and feeling very very positive about this all. We already paid for 3 rounds of IUI, and boy that was expensive, but I'm glad we got that outta the way. Now on to getting me pregnant with Baby Hang!!! :)

My Results.

So Today was day 10 of being late, and I could just feel, like I knew I was pregnant because I have never been that late, even with my 3 pregnancies, always had my periods. So I don't know if this is a new problem, but something I will have my Fertility Dr look into. The past few days I haven't slept, but a few hours, been waking up screaming and crying from the pelvic pain[Endo just sucks!] I even started the 2 kinds of Morphine pills and it still just wasn't helping. Needs more time to get use to my body and in my blood. But I would think the instant release ones would help, I'd take them and the pain would lessen for like an hour or so, but not take it away, then take some Percocets and they worked better. I think I need my PCM to just up the dose, because he started me on a low dose because too much Morphine can make you stop breathing. Well I woke up this morning, after sleeping for about 5 hours, and Bruce was home from lunch. I woke up screaming and crying from the pain. I didn't wanna wait for my blood test results to come back so I chose to go POAS and see what happens, well I take my purse, with my meds in it, into the bathroom, because I was gonna take a hot bath to help with the pain. As I went to POAS I saw blood....I instantly started crying my eyes out, my Husband runs in there and I show him... I was only spotting, but then as the hours went on it's heavy now... AF has finally arrived.... I couldn't stop crying, I knew we were gonna do IUI if I wasn't pregnant, but that does not make it ANY less easier.... I think this is the hardest cycle I have EVER been through... So I just got off the phone with my PCM's nurse and the blood test came back...BFN.... I hung up the phone and dropped it and started bawling again...then picked it my BlackBerry up and called my Husband and told him the news... I could hear it in his voice... His heart breaking, breaking with mine... 2 broken hearts... I really don't know what else to say, and I know I have all my girls, but I don't know if any words right now will help me feel any better, at all. I know there is still hope with IUI but right now I feel as if I can not go on... I kept asking my Husband after AF came, "Why is God doing this when we would make the best parents ever." "I don't understand why we have to go through this." He is always so positive and without him I could not get through any of this. I really look up to him for being so positive each month AF comes, and he always says, "There's always next months baby." He is right, "always next month" But it's been 3 years..so what 36 months now...?? But he has a way of keeping me positive and hopeful for the next month. And I love him so much for it. I really thought I was finally pregnant after all this time, physical pain and all the heartbreaks, but I guess I was wrong...