A Thousand Maybes.

My Husband and I have been thru so much in the 6 years and 9 months. We've been married 2 years 11 months and while we've been married it's been one thing after another. I know that God has a huge great plan for us. Do you know why I believe that? The Devil tries so hard to break us apart and the fact that we are still together, happy and strong. I don't know what the Lord has planned for us, but when it happens we will definitely know.

Maybe God hasn't want us to conceive these past 3 years, maybe because He thinks we haven't been ready, or maybe because I didn't know about some of my health problems, maybe because of all my health problems, maybe because we were having money issues, maybe he knew/thought we would miscarry again if we got pregnant then, maybe because... Well I'm running out of "maybes" because I honesty don't see why God hasn't given us the most blessing of all, because we are over ready and would be the greatest parents. Just maybe he wanted to put us thru Infertility so we would know how much a blessing a baby is. There could be a thousand maybes, but only God knows and only God knows when we will be blessed with our Miracle baby. But infertility has opened my eyes and taught me things like being negative and being stressed will get you no where, that there is a reason for everything, that a baby is the most blessing you can receive, that creating a life with your Husband out of love, is the most beautiful thing. Most days I am positive, but once AF comes I get discouraged and sometimes feel like giving up. But I think giving up on my Dream to be a Mother would be worse then going thru all the heartbreaks and physically pain each month, because that's all I've ever wanted to do, is be a Mother. I will never give up on having our own child until I'm holding our sweet baby in my arms. But those days when I start to think negative and giving up, I just imagine myself holding our baby, getting up at all hours of the night to feed our child, changing diapers, giving our child a bath, rocking our baby to sleep, and the one that ALWAYS puts a huge smile on my face and turns that negatively into positive is picturing Bruce holding our child. I see how he is with other babies/kids and how he fathers our Fur-Babies he will be the best Daddy, no question about it. And he also keeps me positive. He is so great to me and wants a baby so bad, probably more than me, LoL. He LOVES Kids. Before he joined the Army he was in college to be a Kindergarten teacher. Too cute, I know! :) But I do know it will happen when the tine is just right.

Got a very busy week this week. Tomorrow Pre-op at the Fertility Clinic and Therapy, also Hubby's Appt for his shoulder, Wednesday HSC, Thursday HSG. So gonna be a busy and painful week. Just hoping the HSC and HSG comes back perfect like last year. So I should get some rest, I'll be a littke busy bee tomorrow. Goodnight ya'll!

Our Fertility Appt.

So just got home from our Fertility Appt, and it went really great!!! We are doing 3 rounds of IUI, 1st round next cycle, since I just started my period on the 1st, which is good because we don't have to wait a whole another month, to do all the testing before IUI, which I have already done, but they wanna do it again since it's been a year. Bruce and I both got blood work done while we were there, then next week I am doing HSG and HSC [again, and MAN they hurt so bad!!!!] Then a few days after my next cycle starts they are giving me Femara pills for a few days, so when I ovulate, I have more than 1 egg. Then IUI on the 15th day. They are also freezing a like 3 samples of his spermies. Just in case he leaves here soon. They are also gonna pick out his good sperm. I have a really good feeling about this!!! I really do. Then once I am pregnant I will be getting that shot everyday for 12 weeks to keep me from miscarrying. So we'll see!! :) I have the best feeling about this!!! God does know what he's doing and I have faith in him!! :)

Some pics from Today.


Mommy & Isabella. :)


Juliet sunbathing, as always. :)


Juliet and Angel, wanting Mommy to pick them both up, LoL!


And Me. :)

AIT#2:Day Fifty-Seven.

So didn't do too much Today because I was in so much pain. Sat out about 2 hours trying to sell Destiny's puppies. A lady gave me a check, that I can't cash til Tomorrow, to hold onto the other white one, and will give me the rest of the money next week. Other than that, no luck... And there was no shade...and with Lupus, your NOT ALLOWED in the sun, so we left because I couldn't take it anymore. Now just home and resting and just in so much pain and there steroids and I'm about to start, so I'm PMS'ing, so both of those are just making me SO bitchy, hahaha. Just gonna chill with my Sis and Kids and talk to my Hubbs, then just gonna go to bed... Man, going bed on a Friday night, I feel so OLD!! HAHAAH!!!!














8 weeks old Today, just some of them!!! :) First time Outside!!

AIT#2:Day Fifty-Six.

So the steriods are actually helping!! I am still in a lot of pain but it is giving me a lot of energy and helping with my feet swelling. But they are still swollen and now my hands are starting to swell and hurt...will this flare up ever go away?!! My Doctors are trying to get me into the Rhuemologist ASAP because of how bad my flare up is. The wait is backed up for 4 more months. So hopefully I can get into this other place ASAP, if not, I'll have to go to Denver. But I am fine with that.


Here are some pictures of Destiny's puppies!!





TOO CUTE, I KNOW!!!!!! 8 weeks old!!

AIT#2: Day Thirtheen.

11:45am: Well I just got back from Therapy, and I actually feel A LOT better today and just content!! I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, and I have SO much energy. So Romeo and me are about to go up in the Mountains and walk some nice trails and take some pictures. :) It's such a beautiful day outside, I gotta take advantage of it, and of actually feeling like I have energy!! I'm in a lot of pain, but I'm not letting that stop me or upset me at all Today. Today is all about me! And I'm gonna go enjoy myself. Update later!! Have fun in Class Baby, I LOVE YOU! And I'll call you when I get out of the Mountains! And stop worrying so much, I'll be fine. I'll have my attack dog, hahaaa!!! :) Hope everyone has a GREAAAAT! day Today!!!


3pm: So I just got back from the Mountains with Bubba!! And we hiked as far as Mommy's feet could, then went and sat down at the waterfall. Mine and Bruce's special place!! :) It was so peaceful out there, the water running, birds, wind...AHHHH FREEDOM!! :) I seriously love it out there!!! It just makes me feel so free and good!!! Romeo had a blast too!! When I tried to get him down by the waterfall, he flipped, so I stuck his butt in the car..LoL. Well I'm waiting on Bruce to finish cleaning his room, "room inspections" Then gonna webcam with my Husband then I'm gonna go to bed EARLY!! Since I only got 2 hours of sleep last night!!!

Juliet's Birth Story.

Well Juliet had her puppies on Feb 1, 2009. And they are just the cutest little babies!! We were on our way back from FoCo (2 hour drive from home) and I brought Juliet with me, because I didn't want her to give birth, and me not be there, just incase something were to happen. Well Bruce and I were in Denver when she started giving birth to her first pup, which is an hour away from home. Well she had 3 puppies in the car, but took 2 hours to get home, because we spotted and stuff. Then 2 at home. I had to pull 4 puppies out, because they were coming out wrong. WITH NO GLOVES...LOL. Well she had 6 puppies, but 1 was a stillborn, I bawled like a baby, but anyway.. 3 boy and 2 girls. We are keeping 1 of the girls, and named her Bella. :) I'm in love with them all!! I really am. :) It's gonna be hard to give them away.


The turned out all looking like her, but the grey one, my Isabella. :)