Hysterectomy...??????

So I had to go back to the ER last night, due to my pelvic pain being so bad and nothing to control it with, since all these doctors in Oklahoma do not want to give me my pain meds. Well anyway, they did a pelvic exam and ultrasound. I've passed everything they said. The last few days I have been passing some BIG nasty looking stuff... Sorry if that is TMI, but it's gross and also hurts extremely bad! My pelvic exam on the other hand..they found cancer cells on my cervix. So they told me to just get in with my OB/GYN as soon as I can. I'm not sure what that means, them finding cancer cells, I was kinda out of it when I talked to the doctor. It's kinda freaking me out.

I've been thinking about getting a Hysterectomy the last few days. Trying to go thru the pros and cons. Of course I want to be able to carry my own baby but with my health, I don't think I can. And with my Endometriosis, they say after having a Hysterectomy the pelvic pain can get worse or better or go away completely. And I'm scared if I have it done then my pain gets worse...then I will be SOL! I have already tried Lupron and it didn't really help, I still had the worse pelvic pain. I've been on pain meds since I was 17 years old and I'm now 23. I want off of them!! I know I could always freeze a bunch of eggs, but just the thought of someone else carrying my baby just breaks my heart. But if it is best for me and the baby then that is what I am gonna have to do. This is just a HUGE decision.. I wish my Mother or Grams was here to talk to me about this... I know God will lead me in the right path.

All I want is to be a mother to a baby down here on Earth, but it just seems like it's not meant to be. And that just kills me. There are woman having babies and KILLING them! I try not to question God's will but if he already knew what would happen to these babies why would he give them to these women? When there are women like me that are going through Infertility and would do ANYTHING for that child and would NEVER harm their baby. A few friends AND family members have told me to just get a hysterectomy... I kinda feel like they are telling me to just give up. I've come so far how could it just end with a hysterectomy and me childless?