Why We Must Wait?

As I lay here in bed, watching the clock change and hit 2:37am, I can't help but wonder why me or any other woman must go through Infertility? Out of all the other woman on Earth, having babies and getting pregnant, he picks us to go through Infertility? Not knowing rather or not we will be a Mother. As I think of all my Friends that have children/pregnant [yes I am happy for them] I can't help but wonder why them and not me? I know that it does not make me any less blessed, but why must I wait years and these woman wait months? I know God has a plan for all of us, and that obviously they were not meant to go through Infertility and we are. I think God picks out the woman that are tough enough to handle Infertility, because a lot of woman can hardly go through a couple months of TTC. I knew having a baby was a blessing, but 3 years of going through Infertility it has really opened my eyes and see how huge of a blessing a baby truly is. And I would never give up nor give up on my baby. Because giving up is the same as giving up on your baby. And that I could never do, no matter how bad my heart is aching or how bad my Chronic Pelvic Pain is from Endometriosis from TTC. I do know I will be a Mother, there is no doubt about it, what so ever. When God thinks it's the right time he will bless my Husband and I with a beautiful healthy baby. Me and every woman going through Infertility, God does have a plan for us, and we will have our baby, when the time is right. I think he puts us through Infertility to make us stronger so we will be the best Mothers there ever were, to see how much a blessing a baby truly is, to learn from it and to see how far we are willing to go for our baby. I don't have the answer on why we must wait and go through Infertility, but I do know God is putting us through Infertility and making us wait for a reason.

I'm still laying in bed and it's now 3:10am and my Percocets and muscle relexor have kicked in, I'm still having some Pelvic Pain and my back still hurts, but I think I can actually sleep now. AF is 2 days late, but I know she's on her way because of how bad my Pelvic Pain is. [And the period cravings, hehe] When she does make her appearance I'm going to try my hardest not to get more depressed than I already am, because we are doing our 1st round of IUI in December or January. And that is something to really look forward to and I just know it will work. And no matter what happens my Husband is always here, helping me through this and keeping me positive [so are all you ladies!] A few hours ago we watched a movie and at the end a couple had a baby and it really put me down. My Husband knew right away and just ignored the movie and held me and started rubbing my belly and saying "I know you are upset but by this time next year we will have our baby and you will have the cutest bump. Soon my love." And those words instantly put me in a positive mood and I know that he is right. I don't know how he does it, he always puts me in a positive mood about it and just knows what to say. And I'm so blessed to have such a great man as my Husband and standing behind me through all of this. My Thanksgiving was great, so was Black Friday and my weekend! I will post some pictures up later when I get them from my BIL. :) I hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving!! :)