AIT#2: Day Three & Four.

So yesterday when I got home I was way too tired to Update. Went up in the mountains with Bestie and to the hunted tunnels, nothing really scary happened, just a BUNCH orbs. So was pretty fun, but woulda but much more fun if spooky stuff happened.







Oooh the ghost of little children... LOL. Good times!!! Anyways didn't do much after that, just went home and rested because I ended up getting sick. Then Today, I really didn't do much because I've been in a lot of pain, and I was trying not to take my pain pills, but I didn't go me!! I ended up cleaning the house, And then just went to Walmart and got some food and stuff for the Kids. I'll probably just chill with Tasha, since she flies out Tomorrow, and rest. I'm 3 days late, and took a preggo test, came back negative of course, but maybe it too early, I really hope this is the month of us. Keep them crossed!!!

Over Due Update!

Guess it's time for an update, well Bruce got his orders for AIT, he's reclassing so has to go back, and class starts June 12 and he graduates AIT August 13th. (wanted to go see him graduate but he'll be all the way in SC :(....) For those who know all the mental/health problems I am going through, know that him being gone will be HELL for me... It'll be harder than the 16 month Deployment we went through. And I'm not suppose to left alone, esp at night, because my PTSD and certain stuff that comes with the PTSD... And I would go to Oklahoma while he is gone, but I can't because I have a lot of Doctor Appts, and most are very important. So yeah... So my bestfriend/sister Tasha is gonna come stay with me! Also they may move us from a different base, well try. We did a Compassionate Reassignment from Alaska, BECAUSE of my mental/health problems, and all my Doctors wanted me close to my Family in Oklahoma, so they moved us to Colorado. Well with the Compassionate Reassignment they aint suppose to be moving us, soo we are fighting it, and by the time I'm done with them, they won't end up moving us. A lot of people and all my Doctors are helping us out. Compassionate are really hard to get!!!

As for TTC, we are gonna do 2 rounds of IUI (even though it's a 2% chance it even working...) while he is gone, so yes, we will still be trying!! No breaks for us!! :) Totally gotta love the 21 Century, haha!! Also Destiny's (our Husky) her puppies are due June 6th... Our Lab for her pregnant!! And we still have 2 Chihuahua puppies to sell.. I swear when we get the money all are getting fixed, because with my health I can't do this!! When we drive to Oklahoma this month or very beginning of June, we are dropping our Lab off there, so he is gonna stay there while my Hubby is gone, so it's a little less for me to deal with. So that'll be a little easier... well then again gonna have MORE puppies (and by the looks of it, she's gonna have A LOT) it may be a little more to do.

I'm SOOOO thankful that he is bringing the laptop and will be able to get on everyday, and be able to call/text me. Yes, I know it is not a Deployment, I have been through one...But if you were going through everything that I am 52 days would be very hard for you too...and having Separation Anxiety from him, makes it harder. And he just helps me so much, he's always there to help me get my pain pills if I'm not by them, and am in too much pain to walk and get them myself, he just helps me out with EVERYTHING, because with my health problems, a, it's just hard for me to do normal daily stuff...like housework..etc.. I'm not your normal "housewife" And I can't be, and yeah I do feel sometimes like a bad Wife.. With my health...that just aint gonna happen... And I told Bruce about it, and he says I'm not, and that it's not my fault that I have all these health problems, but I just still feel that way sometimes... I just really want to be healthy, and feel normal... I'm tired of being extremely tired, in pain and eating pain pills like candy... I feel 80 years old..haha..

Just hopefully the 2 months will go by super fast...and busy for me... *sighs* This is gonna be way too hard... Please keep me and him in your prayers, thank you. I hope ya'll all are doing great!!

Test Results.....

So my Appt today didn't go so good... it's confirmed... I have Lupus... which I kinda figured, because that's just my effin' luck... They are sending me to Rheumatology... they also found out I have another Autoimmune disease, Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome... I don't really know much about it, because I wasn't really listening to her explain it... but it causes blood clots and stuff... This is really just my effin' luck huh... 2 more damn things to deal with it... I just... I don't know how to deal with ALL this stuff I'm going through all at once... I'm just so overwhelmed with shit... And I can't stress at all.... because that's the worse thing for Lupus.. and it's just so hard to NOT stress about everything going on... Please keep me in your prayers...

Juliet's Birth Story.

Well Juliet had her puppies on Feb 1, 2009. And they are just the cutest little babies!! We were on our way back from FoCo (2 hour drive from home) and I brought Juliet with me, because I didn't want her to give birth, and me not be there, just incase something were to happen. Well Bruce and I were in Denver when she started giving birth to her first pup, which is an hour away from home. Well she had 3 puppies in the car, but took 2 hours to get home, because we spotted and stuff. Then 2 at home. I had to pull 4 puppies out, because they were coming out wrong. WITH NO GLOVES...LOL. Well she had 6 puppies, but 1 was a stillborn, I bawled like a baby, but anyway.. 3 boy and 2 girls. We are keeping 1 of the girls, and named her Bella. :) I'm in love with them all!! I really am. :) It's gonna be hard to give them away.


The turned out all looking like her, but the grey one, my Isabella. :)

IVF Our Only Option....

So we went to out Appt today and found out why I haven't gotten pregnant. His sperm is only 1% good.. I also have MTHFR Disease (Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase), it's a blood Disease, causes Miscarriages and blood clots. IVF is our only option to conceive, he said we have a 1% of getting pregnant on our own, and I have to get pregnant, and if I get pregnant with the ab-normal sperm, I will just miscarry. I'm really glad we found all this out, I just can't believe we actually have real Infertility. I never thought this would happen to us...It breaks my heart, I just can not believe IVF is our only option. Even though we have a 1% of conceiving on our own, we are still TTC, and not giving up. Since we can't afford IVF, because they want it ALL up front, we are just gonna try and get Tri Care to pay for it. Even though I know there is a like a 2 year waiting list, and we can't wait any longer, we have to get pregnant asap, because his sperm is gonna get worse, and then he will have NONE. So hopefully we can just skip the waiting list.. we'll see I guess. This is just a total shock to us.. we just thought it was me because the Endometriosis, But obviously not... We are just both so torn up... I really can not believe this...I never thought we were suffer from Infertility. I'm just praying with everything I am, we can at least have 1 kid of our own. My Infertility Dr also said once I do get pregnant I will get a shot everyday til I'm 12 weeks pregnant to keep me from miscarrying. Sigh... Please pray for us, we are going through a very very tough time. Thank you ladies.

Post Appt.

So I went and saw my Infertility Dr. He looked at my incisions and they are healing very nicely!! He said he larsed most the Endo,blood out and all scar tissue! So that's a plus! He said I'll probably be in pain for a few weeks because the Endo and blood he larsed out was on nerve endings!! OUCHIES! So I'm hoping soon after I heal I won't be having any pelvic pain for a while! He said he needs me all the way healed for the In Vitro (and healing takes 4-6 weeks) Well next week Bruce has to get another spermie test. Then on the 9th we have an Appt for treatment and talk about what will be best and the In Vitro. I really can not wait to get this started!! The process takes 2 weeks..sooo the sooner the better!!!! :)

After Surgery.

So they got the Endometruim cyst out, and it was the size of an orange. Ouch I know! He larsed just about all the Endometriosis out and got rid of all scar tissue! He said I won't have a problem with geting Pregnant or Miscarrying anymore! Thank the Lord. So I'm hoping we get Pregnant in Dec before we do InVitro in Jan. That would be so nice. I go see my Infertility Dr next week to make sure I'm healing right. I'm so glad they let Bruce home, because I can't lift myself..and he has been a HUGE help..thank you baby! Keep us in your prayers! Thank you.

Emergency Surgery.

So I am having emergency surgery tomorrow afternoon. because the Endometrium Cyst is poking out and can feel it..and hurts like HELL! So they want to get it out ASAP! Bruce is in the field...but they are getting him home. Ughh I'm so scared to have surgery...Please keep me in your prayers that everything goes great. Also in Jan is when we are doing the In Vitro!!!!!!!!:)